Hey there folks!
Been a while since the last post but this post is going to be pretty…. Tasty I suppose!
My brother and I are doing quite well now and that thanksgiving is a great holiday to “give thanks and have gratitude for the great things in life,” we wanted to have one hell of a gluttonous, tasty and awesome feast!
Of course it is not just for the two of us, a few friends have been invited to share in my culinary proficiencies and my knowledge of great holiday cuisine. I told them to not worry about bringing anything, I have everything covered!
Instead of having a big fat freaking meal, we have decided to make this a two day holiday. Yes, a two day holiday for eating (admit it, you love to eat, WHO THE HECK DOESN’T!) Well, ok maybe Kate Moss hates eating, but she sure as fuck doesn’t speak for me!
We start our wonderful escapade of culinary gluttony on Wednesday evening with the usual pre-thanksgiving Pizza. Yeah, we had to really source the pig for this one as the toppings would be Bacon and Sausage along with onion and Mozzarella cheese. Instead of slaving away at making a sponge, I bought a doughball at of COURSE, Conshohocken Bakery! http://conshybakery.com – 79 Jones Street Conshohocken PA 19428 yes tell them Tom the cook sent you!
So now that we have a big pizza out of the way, our next step is to look at Thanksgiving day: TWO awesome meals, the breakfast and the ridonkulous feast of turkey and it’s associate trimmings.
For breakfast, there has been a tradtion that we follow here at the ORG. A bread bowl (Yes, again from Conshy Bakery) with Sausage country gravy with two eggs, served anyway you want, with roasted home potatoes and bacon. Did you have a heart attack yet?
Well, if you managed to survive that one, well this one might just do you in, the Mighty fatass engorging of the mighty thanksgiving dinner. This is what our menu is looking like (You might just gain 100 calories by just looking at it for a second:)
Butterball Turkey (20 Pounds) Yes 20 pounds. Feed a small army, feed a block, feed the population of a small island city. Brined for 24 48 HOURS with road Kosher Rock salt, Brown Sugar and Peppercorns. Roasted nicely for 5 hours.
Gravy: A fusion of turkey broth and collected fats and drippings from the roasting pan. Sick indeed! (and pretty greasy! NOT!)
Stuffing: Not just ordinary stuffing, but Apple Walnut Sage Sausage stuffing. You will have some of this and wonder if you just died and went to stuffing heaven. Yes, I got the stuffing shreds (cubes) From where? CONSHY BAKERY! Yes indeed! Cheaper than that overproduced shit in a bag for $3.00 that you find at Giant.
Mashed Potatoes: Mashed skin on redskin potatoes that would make you lose your mind. Yum!
Green Bean Casserole: The kicker here is the un-durkee onions. Yes, the onions will be freshly made, not dried in at the cost of $3.99 for a small container.
Candied Yams: Brown sugar and Candied Yams make this a wonderful tasting dessert like side to our food craze for turkey day.
Cranberry Sauce: Best of Both Worlds with jellied and Whole Berry cranberry sauce.
Wow! You are STILL WITH US? Well then! Here is the final part if you haven’t passed out or passed from a myocardial infarction!
Desserts:
Mrs. Smith Pumpkin Pie: I suck at pumpkin pie, so let the overproduction team win on this one. Same with the cool whip.
But O so Contrare! They will just love to hear what I have in store for the other dessert!
Carl Sagan’s Universe Created Apple Pie (From Scratch!) No, unfortunately I was not able to get someone to steal that weird apple pie pan from Cambridge University. In spirit of one of the Greatest science and philosophy personalities out there, we are baking an apple pie from scratch! And it’s going to taste damn good right down to the atom!
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe”
-Carl Sagan
Have an awesome thanksgiving. If you couldn’t of made it this year, do not worry as there is next year!
Tom
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